That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
