haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
