Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
