Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
