hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
