Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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