dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize