OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
