lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
