PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
