I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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