i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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