If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
