just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Enjoy the penises
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize