I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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