i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
