Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
