You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize