hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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