I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
