bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Rumble strips road head = magical
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
