We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
