He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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