My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
