Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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