party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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