There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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