I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
