Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
