Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
