As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
