We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
