proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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