he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
