I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
