And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
