I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
