Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
