dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
