Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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