My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize