Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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