yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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