Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
