Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize