I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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