i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
