Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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