I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
