This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
