I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
where are my eyebrows?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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