Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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