ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
