susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
