Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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