it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
