we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
